Joyful family life comes from a family culture of gratitude. And joy begets joy. It is a fact of human nature that we move toward what we focus on. That knowledge alone is a significant tool in making important changes in your family life.
Too often, we look for occasions to be offended. And we generally find them. We often expect bad things to happen, sometimes as a means of protecting ourselves from disappointment. But what winds up happening is that we become pessimistic, baffled, disheartened, angry… empty. And that feeling can spread through a family and invade every aspect of life. It is often subtle, leaving us with a vague sense of need.
Gratitude changes everything. It changes your point of view entirely. It is like seeing through new eyes. It makes loving – the act of caring for oneself and others – easier, richer, complete. Gratitude allows us to not only love our families more fully, but to reach out to others in small but meaningful ways every day, and in everything we do. Gratitude is a massive catalyst for change in our own lives, and in the world around us.
It’s surprising how quickly an attitude of gratitude can take root and flourish – in ANY family. It matters not at all how far from ideal a family is. It can be done in a breath. As long as it takes to pick up notebook and pen is as long as it takes to make an immediate and lasting change.
Being thankful in all things, today, right where you are physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally has the power to radically transform lives. It requires no special skill. All that is required is a desire to try, a notebook and a pen.
Choose a notebook from your favourite bookshop, one with a nice cover– or make your own from a good quality composition book that you cover in paper, fabric, or other media. And think about choosing a special pen to write with. One that feels really good in your hand, one that is beautiful to you. Writing in your journal should feel important, significant. Because it is.
You may choose to keep your journal with you all day, or to leave it on your bedside table. Having it handy will make it much easier to jot down your thoughts as they occur. But you may prefer to write down your memories of the day right before bed – focusing on positive things before sleeping has a wonderful effect on quality of sleep. If you find yourself out and about without your journal, you could keep a smaller notepad to jot down moments to be transferred to your journal later.
Your journal is not meant to contain lengthy narratives of the day’s happenings. It is meant only to preserve points of light in your day. Each instance should complete the sentence “I am grateful for…”, “Lord, thank you for…”, or “Today I saw God in…”. Soon life becomes a room flooded with the light of thanksgiving. And it becomes easy to find joy everywhere – even in difficult situations.
Because it is so simple, it can be taught from the earliest ages – even before a child can write for himself. Begin by asking each child about the best thing that he saw, or did today. Help him to write it into his own journal. Talk about those things with your child. It’s a wonderful part of an after-dinner or bedtime routine.
Initially, adults should strive for at least five blessings to note each day. It doesn’t take long before you are seeing more and more little miracles. Small children might start with only one each day, and three should be sufficient for older children to begin with. Repeating blessings is perfectly fine!
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